James Hardie's new boss

NEWS ITEM:The two James Hardie executives found responsible for depriving future asbestos disease victims of up to $2 billion yesterday walked away with a $10 million golden handshake between them.

When a stethoscope is used to listen to the lower lungs, you can hear what sounds like Velcro opening up.
-- Like what?
Like Velcro -–you know the ripping sound you get when you pull Velcro apart. It’s a ‘crackle’.
--I know what nylon fasteners sound like.
Well that’s’ the first sign you look for in Asbestosis.
--Ah.
Of course by then there’s a persistent cough and shortness of breath.
--Oh.
And coughing up of blood. That’s common too. But the Velcro sound is the clincher.
--Let me see if I have this right? Cough! Cough! Pant! Gasp! Puff! Crackle!
The crackle rises on the intake and its high pitched.
---OK .When breathing in: crackle! Then: Cough! Cough! Gasp! Puff!
Breath in!
--Crackle .
Your lungs are losing their ability to breath.
--Cough!
Yes! And maybe a spasm.
--Ah…Gasp!
Try to breath.
--Crackle!
On the intake…that’s’ it! Now the blood--
--Gurgle
Well, I’ll be…That’s’ not bad. You’ve almost got it.
--I’m trying. I really do want this job.
Very empathetic. I reckon you’ve got what it takes.
--Thankyou.
I think you’ll do.
--Really?
Yep. Welcome to the firm. You are going to make a CEO that James Hardie can rely on. Cheers.
--Cheers.
You are just what we need: a greedy son-of-a-bitch, pickled in crocodile tears.

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