I’ve become a dedicated Trekkie

Having just broken from my desktop labours to take the dogs for a walk -- Terrier Scratch and Terrier Milley --I am reminded that I ambulate with poles. I started pandering to my arthritis years ago and began to to carry a cane. Canes are fine if you have a bad hip and are prone to what we used to call a fractured NOF --" # nof " as the nursing notes would have it -- a fractured neck of femur. To be so saddled you’d really need to be aged and wobbly on your pins --so my taking up of the cane,and me not being Charlie Chaplin -- was unusual. But me and my cane went every where together. I was cane dependent, at least psychologically. Sure, I’d leave the occasional model on the train or at the coffee shop in the same way one forgets one’s umbrella -- but I’d regularly cane hither and cane yon as though I had sported a third leg.
After years of being so ambulatorially assisted my bod began to protest to the effect that I was throwing myself forward. Like the stereotypical little-old-lady I was stooping fore’ as though I was leaning thataway to go up a hill.Consequently my two big toes -- my own significant halluxes -- were clawing my way forward more than their design want. After a visit to a podiatrist of my acquaintance, and bilateral inserts later ( for a hefty fee!) I began to explore my problem with reference to my knowledge of physiology . If I was stooping forward, what can I do about it?
Parallel to this condition was the ongoing problem I had with upper body stiffness. which I usually addressed with water workouts. Maybe I could involve my arms, I considered, more actively in my ambulations?
The Finns came to my rescue.
Nordic Walking with ski poles began in Finland as a summer training exercise for serious "cross country" skiers. I liked the mode and bought myself a cheap pair or ex-hire ski poles which I cut down to size. Since then I’ve become a dedicated Trekkie.
Rather than stooping forward at each advance I now walk upright ably assisted by the terrain at my feet and reminiscent of a rod puppet -- like Kermit the frog for instance.
I soon learnt that poles don’t hang off tables or the backs of chairs like canes do and that at coffee shops and odd moments their straight up and downess was a complication. So I invested in a pair of collapsible trekking poles.
When normally commuting I take two poles, but when going out any where fancy I limit myself to one and have created a slip knot scabbard on my belt to hold my concertina-ed pole when I am sitting down or otherwise occupied in non trek mode.
Trekking like this is like walking on all fours as the cadence is both upper and lower. It is excellent exercise especially for a malady de me.With a extended lead I can traverse the suburbs with two dogs leashed. All you have to do is put up with the cat calls, "Hey mate! Where’s the snow?" which is a joke that seems to delight so many smart arses here in sub tropical Brisbane.
Any suggestions for a standard snappy come back would be appreciated.