Head of state


I was thinking to myself that John Howard -- the present prime minister of our illustrious commonwealth-- leaves a lot to be desired in a head of state.
The Blog Reading Public: Well, he was one of only two on offer.
Myself: Exactly. One of two.
The Blog Reading Public: Who perhaps were you expecting to be on the short list? Mahatma Gandhi?
Myself: I’m sure he is a lovely man at home with impeccable table manners but I was hoping we could get a bit more pizzaz for our money. More the people person.
The Blog Reading Public: Like whom, for instance?
Myself: I was after someone who’d be more on our side rather then being so--
The Blog Reading Public: --ideological?
Myself: No.
The Blog Reading Public: Arrogant?
Myself: Certainly not that! I was after someone who was a bit more--
The Blog Reading Public: --down to earth?
Myself: Ummm.
The Blog Reading Public: More a leader?
Myself: More someone who’d do what we wanted done. I could do without these industrial reforms for instance. If I had my way I’d give them the heave ho...What’s in them for us? Sweet F A. But hey! I’m gonna get them shoved down my throat whether I like them or not. And then there’s Iraq..
The Blog Reading Public: The war on terror?
Myself: I don’t know about that. I just know that we got lied to by that little rodent and we’re stuck with this godforsaken mess over there which offers no end in sight.
The Blog Reading Public: So he’s a lying rodent now?
Myself: I guess he is.
The Blog Reading Public: No more Mister Nice Guy, then?
Myself: No more. But you know what’s the worst thing of all?
The Blog Reading Public: No.
Myself: The worst thing of all is that if it wasn’t the one we are now stuck with, it would be the other.
The Blog Reading Public: Beazeley?
Myself: Yes. Him. I mean what sort of choice was that?
The Blog Reading Public: Buckley’s.*
Myself: Terrible isn't it?
* Buckley's chance (show, hope) A forlorn hope, no chance at all [Origin obscure. Connections have been suggested with 'the wild white man' William Buckley, the convict who absconded from Port Phillip in 1803 and lived for thirty-two years with the natives. He gave himself up in 1835 and lived until 1856. Another suggested derivation is a pun on the name of the Melbourne firm of Buckley and Nunn.] SOURCE: G.A. Wilkes’ 1978 Dictionary of Australian Colloquialisms

Buckley's. noun Colloquial
1 Also, Buckley's chance, Buckley's hope. a very slim chance; forlorn hope:
2.Buckley's and none, (humorous) two chances amounting to next to no chance.[? from William BUCKLEY, influenced by the pun on the name of the former Melbourne department store, Buckley and Nun\

Riley comments: My first work experience was in the very same department store -- Buckly and Nunn (note the double "n") in Bourke St. I started in stores and worked my way up to selling cutlery through a succession of summer holiday jobs. Me Da was a B&N permanent and the work ethic at home seems to have had a lot to do with B&N's expectations. What with Myers next door and Coles up the road -- I mean the REAL Coles and the REAL Myers, not some copycat branch -- I was exercising my work ethos in the cradle of modern retailism....But there you go. Come the spill in the boardroom and David Jones got their Sydney hands on B&N.
Today, so few, so very few, can work out the pun about Buckley's and NONE.

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