Philosophical discourse part the first

Have I told you about my dogs -- my little heathen canines -- two terriers of nondescript heritage. They got so much pluck in them ‘tis joy enough to watch them growl and snap. They’re at war with the world, and wouldn’t trust a soul without them being offered a formal introduction first. Very etiquette minded is terriers.
The Blog Reading Public: Well that’s mighty interesting that is. You’re not trying to tell us that this blog has gone to the dogs are you?
Myself: Hell no. I’ll get to today’s in time. Be patient. But the little blighters are so often in my thoughts. There’s no mucking about with them. They’re your own dogs -- no one elses. Golly, I wouldn’t trust them around anyone for fear that there’d be blood pouring out of a fresh ankle wound before long.
The Blog Reading Public:Pl..ea..se! Spare the gore.
Myself: What with all their sniffing of backsides and mountin’ one another -- they’re never lost for something to do. But hey, I have a joke for you.
The Blog Reading Public: Alright then. Make it short.
Myself: Oh it is. It’s a major commentary on evolutionary theory. You ready?
The Blog Reading Public: Sure.
Myself: As the snake said to the dog, "You may be a higher life form than I but you won’t catch me sniffing arseholes to find out who my friends are!"
The Blog Reading Public: Ay. That’s a good wun, that is.
Myself: It makes you think doesn’t it? Evolution does have its funny little ways. ‘Tis a very "Darwinian" joke.
The Blog Reading Public: Minus the monkeys.
Myself: Without the ape men. For sure. And here‘s another. A profound comment on human existence. You’re sure to like it.You ready?
The Blog Reading Public: As we’ll ever be...
Myself: "A fart has no nose."
The Blog Reading Public: Is that it?
Myself: Of course. Dwell on it a moment.-- "A fart has no nose." It’s very profound.
The Blog Reading Public: "A fart has no nose."? No. We discussed it among ourselves and cannot make head nor tail of it.
Myself: Well, it’s obvious isn’t it. The joke’s there in that a fart smells but how is a fart to know that?
The Blog Reading Public: Oh yes. Droll. Very droll. Who would have thought...a fart not having a nose!
[The sound of thousands of thighs being slapped in unison.]
Myself: But the main point runs real deep. I tell you it would make a great t-shirt. Very philosophical it is. That’s where real meaning lives nowadays -- on t-shirts.
The Blog Reading Public: Books be damned. True authority emanates only from t-shirs today. Like that one that goes: " I have given up my search for truth and meaning and will settle for a good fantasy instead."
Myself: Oh yes. That is very deep that one. Very deep....But the fart one runs deeper, ‘cause it suggests that a fart does not have consciousness therefore it lacks a sense of its own meaning. It is not aware of itself. It just is , you know, a smelly business and that’s all--without knowing where it came from. A fart isn’t even sentient and as we know, it's up to the living to really recognise themselves "as sentient puppets on God's stage"
The Blog Reading Public: But a fart's "scented", that must count for something. I wonder what your terriers think.
Myself: I wonder too.They spend so much time down there...sniffin. A terrier is sure to know these tings.

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