Telstra: don't assume what goes down won’t never come up

I just knew it!
I’d set aside a little nest egg, for when I retire mind.
--A fund.
A little nest egg. Me super, right? So I wanted to hang onto it and put it somewhere safe. What with the markets so up and down -- you can’t be too careful.
-- No you can’t.
And you know I’m pretty careful with my dough.
-- You are. A real tight wad.
I just careful that’s all. Nothing wrong with that. It’s mine aint it? So I think: Telstra. Safe as houses. I mean, ‘safe as houses’-- what was I thinking?
--You tell me.
What--was--I--thinking ...? Now Howard is telling us we shouldn’t assume what goes down won’t never come up. That’s how the sharemarket works. Works! Works for some. It’s not his money is it?
-- Easy come, easy go, I guess.
Of course he can afford to be smug. He’s on the inside. Mums the word. But the rest of us are kept in the dark -- there’s thousands of pig ignorant ignoramuses like me clutching our home made DIY portfolios hoping we can make a killing.
--More fool you, eh?
The network’s a mess. Money’s taken willy nilly from reserves to pay dividends. And next we know it’ll be up for auction.
-- To the highest bidder.
But think of the price! They be selling off what remains of Telstra when the profile’s already gone sour. All they’re doing now is talking down the price.
--So what happened to those record profits?
Beats me.
--$4.4 billion. Four point four BILLION!
I didn’t see a brass razoo.
--At least the phones work.
For now.
--That’s your money that is.
My nest egg.
--Working for Australia.