The new (industrial) trinity

Did you know that there are three major changes contained in these new industrial proposals? Did ya know that?

--I estimated that maybe a cardinal figure of such numerate proportions was involved.

There’s three, see -- one, two, three -- ‘tis an industrial trinity. ‘Cause they gotta come together to work their magic.

-- They surely do.

It’s spiritual. Very spiritual.

--Wow. I mean:wow!

The first is ONE SINGLE UNITARY NATIONAL INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS SYSTEM!

-- No more flow-ons.

That’s so right. There’ll be you, see --and there’ll be them.In mutual agreement -- battlers and bosses. It’ll be consensual. All together under the southern cross. One big conjugation.

-- All for one, one for all. One big union.

No. Not a union.

-- Oh.

But there’s more. I said there were three, didn’t I? That’s only number one. As well as offering ONE SINGLE UNITARY INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS SYSTEM! you’ll also receive ... as part of the same industrial package ... an on-the-job, do-it-yourself, user-friendly, flexible wages and conditions interface tailored to your individual needs.

-- I don’t quite follow you there...

Well, it will be so simple that even you can do it. It will be so simple you’ll want to do it. It will be so simple that even a child could do it -- assuming we were employing them (but hey! its still early days).

--Do what?

Negotiate your very own boutique award.

-- My own what?

‘Award’ ... well, ‘contract’, but we won’t be calling it that. Boutique award, has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Very evocative. But hey! What could be simpler! No smoke and mirrors -- you yourself get to lay your cards on the table and talk turkey.

-- What, with the boss?

With the very same -- up close and personal.

--Wow.

You’ll be somebody. You’ll be your own man ... or lady ... whatever the case may be.

-- My own man, you say?

The very same. Interfacing. ‘Doing lunch’, eh? Chewing the fat ...

-- Across the table.

Partners under the southern cross ...

-- You did say it was spiritual.

Oh my yes. You have to believe. The true measure of the worth of any industrial relations system is its contribution to the economic strength of the nation and that is why we need to believe this new system will deliver more jobs and higher wages.

--It will will it?

Of course it will! Why do you think we bother with this stuff?

--Oh.

You have to look at the big picture.

-- But how do these changes deliver more jobs and higher wages?

They just do. You need to believe. Trust me.

--Right. Sorry. I forgot.

And the third and final change is to better balance the unfair dismissal laws.

--How’s that done?

We make them fairer and less unjust.

-- By making dismissal more just.

Exactly. Now you’re getting the hang of it.

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