Howard of the Overflow

[Author unknown...]

I had written him a letter, which I had, for want of better
Knowledge, sent to where I met him at the Wheat Board, years ago.
He was chairman when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him
Just on spec, to make the point that "Howard doesn't want to know".

And an e-mail came directed, not entirely unexpected
(And I think the same was written in some Middle Eastern bar).
'Twas his CEO who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
"Trevor Flugge's gone to Baghdad, and we don't know where he are.

But when he left Australia, he was going to meet with Alia,
A trucking mob in Jordan, who were keen to grease the wheels.
For 10 percent commission, they could swing Saddam's permission
To get our wheat accepted; it's the mother of all deals.

But I guarantee, Prime Minister, that there's nothing at all sinister.
The chaps at DFAT told us that the sums looked quite okay.
When you're selling wheat in billions, what's a quick 300 million?
If it keeps the Nationals happy, it's a tiny price to pay."

Sitting here at Kirribilli, I've been thinking, willy-nilly,
That it's somehow reminiscent of the children overboard:
But I can handle Rudd and Beazley, as I always do, quite easily
By endlessly protesting that there's nothing untoward.

I'll tell Bush next time I meet him at The White House, when I greet
him,
That I'm sure he'll understand about the Wheat Board's quid pro quo.
He'll forgive this minor error in the global war on terror
When I look him in the eye and tell him.... Howard didn't know

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